


What I Should Have Told You (Anakin Fanfiction)

by Ava_Lira



Series: Star Wars Medieval AU, Anisoka Series [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Medieval, F/M, Jedi, Knights - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:14:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 15,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26871238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ava_Lira/pseuds/Ava_Lira
Summary: *THIS IS PART TWO OF MY MEDIEVAL STARWARS SERIES*Please read book one (What I Never Told You) before reading this! If you want that is...ANAKIN decides to leave Coruscant for good, leaving his old friends behind. He leaves them for what he thinks is love. But what he finds in this new love might not be what he’s looking for after all. Unless she can prove him wrong...
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker/Ahsoka Tano, Lux Bonteri/Ahsoka Tano, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala/Rush Clovis
Series: Star Wars Medieval AU, Anisoka Series [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1960321
Comments: 80
Kudos: 92





	1. 1

I treaded lightly across the cold stone floor of her bedroom. I stopped completely, reaching the sofa placed in-front of her canopy bed. I kneeled down onto the sofa and rested my arms and chin on the foot of her bed.

The light from the rising sun streamed through window onto her already glowing face. Her pink lips smiled as she slept, and her long, brown curls fanned out over her satin pillow. I shouldn’t have watched her for so long, but… she reminded me so much of an angel. I didn’t want to disturb her.

She slept on the left side of her enormous bed, making it look emptier than it would have if she had lay in the middle. The pillows and the sheets on the right side looked completely untouched. There was more than enough room for me there.

Immediately, I regretted that thought because that space belongs to her husband, which would never be me. In a matter of days, it would belong to Clovis.

“Bastard,” I whispered, accidentally out loud, instead of in my mind.

Not that it mattered. He wasn’t here. He probably wasn’t even awake right now. It was only Padmé and I in her bedroom.

My attention fell to the space beside her once again. Would she mind if I crawled in bed beside her? Just for a minute. I wouldn’t even touch her. I just wanted to know what it felt like to be there with her before it was too late.

“Anakin?”

Her gentle voice brought me out of my own thoughts. I looked up to find her sitting up and smiling sleepily at me. “Sorry, if I woke you.”

The bed sheets were no longer covering her upper half, and I tried not to stare at the bare skin visible where her white nightgown didn’t cover. I told myself to stare at her face and her pretty brown eyes.

“Don’t apologize. I needed to get up anyway.”

I nodded, now staring out the window. I had never had the opportunity to see so much of her. And looking far away from her was the only way to protect her from my curiosity. She wasn’t mine.

“You seem upset,” she announced.

I glanced at her for a moment. “Why do you say that?”

“You won’t even make eye contact with me.”

I crossed my arms and clenched my jaw tightly. There was a reason for that. It’s not that I didn’t want to look at her. I wanted to, too much. That was the problem.

“I’m not mad!” My reply came out much ruder than I intended.

“Don’t you start!” Padmé snapped. “I get that enough from Clovis. I can’t take attitude from you too.”

I rolled my eyes at her—immediately regretting that I did when I saw her expression sour even more.

“Anakin Skywalker, what is your problem?”

The harshness of her tone stung a little. I wasn’t used to her anger being directed towards me, even if I did deserve it. I sunk down into the sofa, turned away from her. “It’s not even worth it.”

She huffed loudly. “Now, you don’t want to talk about yourself? That’s very unusual for you.”

I turned my head and glared at her from the corner of my eye. “I’m sorry, but it’s so hard to know that whatever we have isn’t real. And in a few days, I’m going to have to somehow rid myself of these feelings for you because you’ll be married to him. I can’t do this, Padmé. I was so stupid for believing—” I had to take a moment to breathe. Everything, that I had been wanting to say to her from the moment we were together was flooding out.

Padmé stepped around the bed, and when I looked up, I saw that she was now standing right in front of me. “Believing what, Anakin?”

I stared directly into her brown eyes so that she would know that I meant exactly what I was about to say. “You don’t love me, do you?”

I expected her to scoff and then criticize me for doubting her. But she didn’t. Instead, I felt her hands grasping mine and pulling me up. “Stand for just a second. Please.”

Her touch was what I thought I needed so badly. And she was offering it to me. I couldn’t refuse her. So, I listened. And when I stood, she ran her hands through my hair and pulled our bodies closer. “How can I prove that I care about you, Anakin? Tell me?”

Holding her tighter, I leaned down to whisper in her ear. “Choose me.”

Her response was quick and rather painful. My face was stinging from her hard slap. She let go of me and pushed me away.

“I don’t know how to respond. How can you be so selfish?” Padmé’s expression of intense anger within her voice actually scared me. “You know that I’m marrying Clovis for Naboo. How dare you ask me to sacrifice it for you!”

“That’s not what I meant. I just can’t help but wonder what your intensions are with this relationship when you’re engaged to another man. I tried to ignore it, but the wedding’s in a few days.”

Her eyes softened towards me. “I don’t know. I wish I could answer that question. All I know is that I care deeply for you. I had a chance to get to know you, and I fell for you. I’m sorry.”

“I should have thought about it before we got to this point…. It’s going to be weird. As one of the head knights, I’ll see you all the time. And I can’t be with you ever again after the wedding. If we got caught… I’d be killed.”

Padmé covered her face with her hands, and I watched the tears drip from between her fingers.

“Besides, you’ll have him to keep you warm at night. So, you wouldn’t have much use for me anyway.”

“Clovis isn’t enough. He doesn’t want an actual relationship with me, Anakin!” She started to sob. “I’m nothing more than a means for an heir to the throne to him. Don’t you understand that? But I want a husband that actually loves me, like you do. You spend time with me. You are always so accepting and kind. I wish it could be you.”

“But it can’t be me,” I retorted. “You’ve made that so clear.”

I wanted to leave her bedroom. Everything within it’s walls reminded me of her and why I wanted to be with her. But I had to stay. As her “official” bodyguard, I was to remain by her side until the sun went down, regardless of the pain I had to endure.


	2. 2

The coolness of the air penetrated my armor and quickly hit my skin. Instead of crossing my arms around me for warmth, I stretched them out. With summer approaching, it was rare that the temperature would drop so low. But it made sense because the sky had been completely clear today. And since the sun was setting, the air was even cooler. I loved it.

After today, I needed something positive in my life, even if it was only the weather. Padmé didn’t speak to me in the same way, following our argument. I wasn’t sure if it was because she was depressed. Or if she was angry at me. Which is why I was so grateful that I was let off early. Usually I would be returning to the dorms at nighttime, but Clovis told me I could go home early because he wanted to spend some time alone with Padmé.

Of course, the thought of them together was enraging. But the level of tension between Padmé and me was too much for me to bear. I had already gotten used to her kindness and affection, and when it wasn’t directed towards me… I experienced a withdrawal that made my skin ache.

I quickened my pace. I was ready to sleep and forget, for nine hours, that both Ahsoka and Padmé were angry with me.

I shouldn’t have gotten myself thinking about Ahsoka. I hadn’t seen her in several days. Things between us were even more strained than my relationship with Padmé. And I had no idea why.

She started keeping things from me, which made me angry at first. But I thought we fixed things when we agreed that we didn’t have to tell each other everything anymore. But then she was mad when she found that I was also keeping things to myself. The fact that I was Padmé’s bodyguard wasn’t something I was trying to hide from her, obviously. But I had forgotten to tell her about it when it happened.

That seemed to make her even angrier. And the last time I had spoken to her, she acted jealous. I wanted nothing more than to tell my best friend that I was in love with a beautiful woman. But I was no longer sure Ahsoka wanted to be my best friend.

She seemed to be avoiding me purposely. I wished she would have explained why. If I had an answer, I could at least move on.

About halfway to the dorms, I spotted a patch of wild bluebells close to the dirt path. These flowers were a sky blue, brighter than any that I had seen before. The color matched the vibrance of Ahsoka’s eyes.

Without hesitation, I picked some and gathered them into a bouquet for Ahsoka. I knew it was a very stupid idea, but what if it worked? What if it made her smile? If it didn’t, at least I could return to my room knowing that I tried something.

When I entered the dorm building, I quietly stepped up the stairs to the floor Ahsoka’s room was on. I paused before knocking and thought about how I should knock. If I went about it the usual way, she would know it was me and might not answer. Instead of pounding on the door, I tapped it, loud enough to where she could hear though.

I heard her footsteps approaching. My heartbeat increased speed; she was coming. I hid the bouquet behind my back as soon as I heard the lock clicking.

She opened the door.

But she didn’t greet me with a smile. For a few long seconds, we stood staring at each other. I was so afraid that I would say the wrong thing and make her hate me even more.

“Aren’t you supposed to be with Padmé right now?” Ahsoka asked with annoyance.

I looked down at my feet. “I was let off early.”

“So you do go to your room at night then?”

What she was suggesting was completely out of line. And her proud facial expression told me she knew and didn’t care. I wanted to call her out on her presumptuousness, but that would only start another argument. And that wasn’t why I came here.

“I do,” I replied calmly.

“Why are you here? I have things I need to do before bedtime.”

I looked up into her eyes once again. I smiled, and I swore I almost saw her blushing. But I couldn’t be sure because of the lack of light in the hallway and her room. I held out the bouquet of bluebells to her. “I saw these, and I thought of you.”

She stared at them for a while, not accepting them but not rejecting them. “For me?”

“Yes.”

I watched her frown transform into a beautiful smile. She happily took them from me. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

She smiled again. And I smiled back twice as widely. There was something about the way she was looking at me. It nearly washed away all the pain my “relationship” with Padmé had caused. And all it took was her smile.

“What?” Ahsoka asked playfully. “You’re blushing….”

“I’m just glad you didn’t slam the door in my face.”

She smirked. “I wanted to. But I’m glad I didn’t. I guess.”

“Understandable,” I added.

She yawned. “Well, I have to let you go. I’m getting sleepy.”

I nodded, about to walk away. But she wasn’t completely ready to let me leave, I suppose. She grabbed the sleeve of my shirt and pulled me closer. And she kissed me on the cheek.

“Goodnight, Skyguy.”

Before I could say anything, she closed the door. I stood there for at least a minute, thinking about her kiss and the fact that she called me Skyguy…. I couldn’t remember the last time she had done that.

Maybe I was wrong. She didn’t hate me. But I wasn’t sure if we were back to being best friends yet.

I touched the spot she had kissed. It had to mean something.


	3. Chapter 3

I held my hand up to her bedroom door and knocked. And though we weren’t on the best of terms, I still waited desperately for her to answer, longing to see her beautiful face. But no answer came for nearly five minutes.

I knew she was in there. It was too early for her to be anywhere else. So, why wouldn’t she answer? I wondered if I truly had upset her to such an extent that she didn’t want to see me anymore. My words had been harsh. But I was angry... and so afraid to lose her. I couldn’t lose anyone else in my life.

I pushed her door slightly open by the handle and peeked inside. There she was, bundled under the blankets with her head under her pillow. She was shivering. Something was wrong.

I pushed the door open all the way and ran to her. I heard her soft cries underneath her pillow. I was hesitant to say anything because I didn’t want to startle her. Carefully, I knelt down at the side of her bed, and I reached out to tap her exposed shoulder. She didn’t seem to notice though and continued sobbing.

“Padmé, It’s me. Anakin,” I said softly.

She turned halfway and lifted the pillow off her face, tears streaming from her brown eyes. “Sorry you have to see me like this.”

“What’s wrong, Padmé? And don’t say nothing.”

She grabbed my hand and interlocked our fingers. “I’m so sorry, Anakin. You don’t deserve to be dragged into my problems.”

I squeezed her hand and sat on the edge of her bed, right beside her. “I really don’t mind. But please let me help you.”

She curled up and covered her face with her hands, as if that would save me from the pain I felt while watching her cry. I felt helpless, powerless, and afraid.

“Is it about me?” I asked.

She paused for a moment. “It’s Clovis.”

My heart pulsed harshly, making my chest burn. And only because her angelic voice was tainted by the mention of that name. Instinctively, I clenched my jaw and fists.

“DID HE— did he hurt you?” I growled.

“Calm down, Anakin,” she scolded. “He did not. Not physically. If that’s what you were wondering.”

I closed my eyes. “I can’t help it. I don’t trust him. Especially, not with you.”

“You would be a fool to trust someone like him. He’s a liar!”

“What did he do to make you so upset?”

Padmé looked at me with red, teary eyes. “He’s lied to me the whole time, Anakin.” She drew a long, sniffly breath. “I’m so angry with him.”

I stroked her back, covered by the sheets, and remained silent. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

“Last night, Clovis told me his plans for another war,” she seethed. “Do you know why I agreed to marry him?”

I nodded as if I knew. I thought I did anyway. “It’s an arranged marriage. You didn’t have a choice.”

“That’s only partially true. My father suggested Clovis, and I agreed. The only reason I did that was to prevent war between our kingdoms. Naboo isn’t as powerful as Coruscant. We aren’t a militant country. So, I knew it was only a matter of time before he invaded us.”

Padmé held my hands again, tighter this time. And she started pulling me down next to her in bed. I half-heartedly resisted her because I knew she wasn’t truly mine.

Through her tears, she smiled faintly. “I’m cold, Anakin.”

“You never answered my question though. You didn’t tell me what Clovis did.”

“So, you can’t hold me and talk at the same time?” Padmé countered with sparks of mischief in her eyes.

I sighed. “This is supposed to be a serious conversation.”

She rolled her eyes, not buying my excuses. Eventually, I gave in and crawled over her and then pulled her into my arms. It wasn’t exactly the most comfortable position for me because of the stiffness of my uniform. But… I wasn’t about to do anything to change that. “Continue.”

“Well, he told me last night of his plans to start yet another war, one which will involve Naboo if I go through with this marriage. I don’t understand his obsession with having more and more land.”

I barely heard the last part of what she said. I was caught completely off guard by the fact that she said the word if. “What do you mean by if? I thought you already agreed to marry him.”

“It’s not official until we actually have the wedding ceremony. And I do have a choice to tell him no.”

I sat up suddenly, needing to catch my breath. My mind was going over everything that this could have meant for us. “Wait. If you leave, won’t he declare war on Naboo?”

“It will.” Her tone was impressively strong. “But I can’t support Clovis in his attempts to conquer the world.”

“I mean do whatever you think is right. I’ll support you either way.”

“Thank you, Anakin. That means so much to me.”

I kissed her forehead. “I want to help you in any way I can.”

She looked down at her hands clasped between mine. “Come home with me.”

“Um…” I blinked several times before continuing. “You want me to go to Naboo with you?”

She nodded. “Nothing can keep us apart there.”

I was afraid to say no. She seemed so sure about this. But she was asking me to leave my home… and everyone else I cared about. What about Ahsoka? Leave her behind? I didn’t know if I could do that.

“You’re hesitating. Why?” Padmé asked.

I cleared my throat. “It’s just a lot to take in. I’m not saying no.”

She frowned in disappointment. “But you’re not saying yes.”

“I do think you should leave as soon as you can.”

She let go of my hands. “I’m leaving tomorrow night.”

“Wait.” I shifted closer to her and held her hands again. “I think that I could help you more if I stay here. I have an idea about how I can also help Naboo. But I need to talk about it with Obi-Wan and Ahsoka first.”

“I was hoping you would take me home. I don’t want to travel by myself.”

I lowered my body back down beside hers. “You won’t. We’ll figure it out.”

She smiled at me and turned over onto my chest. “I trust you.” She hugged my waist with her slender arms.

I should have been savoring this moment. I had never been this close to her before. But… I wasn’t thinking about Padmé.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ughhh... I am sooo sorry about taking so long with this chapter. School sucks. My professors are making me write all kinds of loooong essays that take away from my already limited free time. Anyway, I really don't know when the next update will be 😬😬😬  
> I mean I'm really going to try to get out chapter four by next weekend. But no promises.
> 
> I only have one month of school left before a two month long winter break. So, during December and January, I hope to return to my original schedule of pointing every other day. I have some great ideas for my next fanfic in the works.


	4. Chapter 4

I hated having to ask her for a favor, especially because we weren’t on the best of terms. But I didn’t know anyone else who I trusted in the same way. There was Obi-Wan, of course. But I needed him for something else. I knew I could trust Ahsoka to take care of Padmé on her way to Naboo. I hoped Ahsoka would agree to leave tonight.

This was no small favor I would be asking her.

I had about an hour to tell her about my plan. Then I would have to go back to being Padmé’s bodyguard.

I had knocked on Ahsoka’s door a moment ago. I crossed my arms to keep my hands from shaking. Last night, I brought her that bouquet, and I didn't give it to her hoping she would give something in return. But she might think that was my intention since I was here to ask her a favor. I held my hand up to knock again. But instead, the door moved away from my hand rapidly. And Ahsoka stood before me.

"I'm about to go to lunch with Lux," she announced, without saying hello and without me getting a single word out.

"I wanted to catch you while you were still in your room. I need to ask you something."

"Fine," she agreed reluctantly.

"Could we go in your room? I don't want anyone else to hear this," I whispered.

Her facial expression went from highly annoyed to highly concerned by the time I finished that sentence. She nodded and closed the door behind us. 

"Thanks," I said.

Ahsoka sat on her bed and tapped the spot next to her. "What is it?”

Padmé nor I really had any time to waste. And because of that, I knew I should tell Ahsoka directly what was going on. But I was afraid to bring up Padmé. Every time I did that in the past, Ahsoka became furious.

“Just don’t get mad,” I began.

She sighed. “Is it about Padmé?”

I nodded.

“What about her?”

Ahsoka’s tone was much more tolerable of her this time, strangely enough. “She’s going back to Naboo tonight.”

Ahsoka gasped. “What? Are you— you going with her?”

“I can’t. Not right now.”

I shivered as Ahsoka slid her arm around my back for a hug. I wasn’t used to her affection. Instead, I was used to seeing her scowl at me and argue. But this time, she was was embracing me and resting her head on my shoulder. I don’t think she realized how distracting it was.

“Well, why are you telling me this then?”

“She needs someone to go with her and....” I paused to catch my breath. “I can’t. So....”

She sat straight up, moving slightly away from me. “You were wondering if I would.”

I froze. “Um... well. Yeah. I trust you more than anyone.”

“I don’t know, Anakin.”

“I have to stay back. Obi-Wan and I are going to see what we can do to protect Padmé from Clovis. That’s why I have to stay behind.”

Ahsoka exhaled slowly. “If I get caught—”

I didn’t give her a chance to finish. “I’ll say that I forced you. Clovis hates me anyway. But I promise, I won’t let him hurt you.”

She patted the top of my hand. “Alright. I trust you.”

“So, that’s a yes?”

“Yes,” she huffed.

Without taking a moment to think, I wrapped my arms around her small waist and hugged her tightly. “Thank you, Snips.” I felt her tense up as soon as I called Ahsoka her nickname. Did she not want to be called Snips anymore? “What is it?”

She backed away from me and patted my shoulder. “Nothing. I’m just going to be late for lunch.”

* * * *

I noticed faint orange lights coming from the underside of the door to Obi-Wan’s office. I hoped he was still there, though it was late. The lights were a good sign.

Without knocking, I pushed the door wide open. Obi-Wan, luckily for me, was sitting at his mahogany desk while reading over something by candlelight. He looked up with a confused expression.

“It is polite to knock, Anakin,” he scolded.

I sat down in the chair across from him. “It’s an emergency,” I said panting.

Obi-Wan closed his book reluctantly. “Well, you have my attention now.”

“Padmé left.”

Obi-Wan narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing me. He crossed his arms over his chest. “What do you mean by that?”

“She’s going back to Naboo.”

Obi-Wan’s jaw nearly fell, and he jumped out of his chair. “When did she leave?” He grabbed the cloak hanging behind his chair and started putting it on.

“About an hour ago,” I replied.

Obi-Wan massaged his forehead in frustration. “Anakin! You knew and you didn’t tell me?”

I crossed my arms defensively. “Basically, yes.”

“Well, get up then. We’re going after her.”

“No. I told her to go.”

A rage that I had never witnessed before from Obi-Wan burned in his once-calm grey eyes. “I can’t believe it. If the king finds out about this—”

I didn’t waver. “It doesn’t matter. Clovis is going to draw us into another war. Padmé left because she couldn’t support that.” I held his forearm. “Obi-Wan, I can’t either. Fighting wars to defend Coruscant is one thing, but I can’t support his conquest for more territory. We just got out of a war.” I tried to speak as calmly as possible.

He nodded in agreement. “And Padmé is certain?”

“She wouldn’t lie to me. And she wouldn’t have left for any other reason.”

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. “I thought she left because she wanted to be with you.”

I frowned. “No. Naboo will always come first to her.”

“I see. Well, I suppose we need to come up with a plan to stop the king.”

I nodded, a smile overcoming my frown. Obi-Wan understood me.


	5. Chapter 5

Obi-Wan knew what he was doing. More than I did anyway. He hid his true intentions so well with his humble words and behavior while in the presence of the Clovis. The three of us sat in Obi-Wan’s spacious office, while Obi-Wan and Clovis conversed. I stood in the back by the door to keep anyone else from coming in during this private meeting. That’s what we told Clovis I was doing, anyway.

Really, I was anxiously waiting for a signal from Obi-Wan. I kept my hand on the hilt of my blade instinctively. It made me feel more prepared for the situation that would occur any moment.

Daylight had left us long ago, and candlelight was what brightened the room. I hoped Obi-Wan didn’t notice the sweat I felt on my face from my nervousness. The dim lighting might have helped hide my expression from him.

Obi-Wan had earlier pulled out a list of grievances the council had reported to him personally. For the last ten minutes, Obi-Wan was explaining this list in great detail for Clovis. Most of the grievances were from the citizens about the new taxes Clovis had introduced in the last amendment.

Obi-Wan brought up an interesting theory. “It seems like an odd time to make such an amendment. We won the war and gained wealth from that victory. Is there something we are raising money for by increasing the taxes? Perhaps another war?”

Clovis stiffened in his chair visibly and tightened his grip on the armrests. “What exactly are you trying to say?”

Obi-Wan shook his head. “I’m only bringing up questions certain people close to you have. Nothing more.”

“I see. What people?”

“I don’t believe I can say. They asked to remain anonymous,” Obi-Wan replied.

With furrowed brows, Clovis rose from his chair and sauntered around the desk towards Obi-Wan. He crossed his arms. “As the king, I believe I have a right to know.”

“Possibly. But what difference does it make who said it? Whoever they are makes a valid point. Is your intention to start a war. As Head General of Coruscant, I must pay attention to such rumors, my king.”

Clovis appeared to ease the intensity of his anger because Obi-Wan referred to him as the king. I have always admired Obi-Wan in that he respects everyone, regardless of whether they deserve his respect or not. Clovis walked back to his chair and sat down.

“Perhaps, I am considering another war. Of course, regardless of my decision, I will have your support, General Kenobi?”

Obi-Wan paused, and he looked up at me. That was the signal I was waiting for, while standing by the door. Without an echo of a sound, I stepped towards Clovis. He didn’t sense me standing behind him. I gripped his neck, and in the next few seconds, he started to fall forwards, being unconscious.

“We couldn’t have just started with that?” I asked.

“I wanted to know for sure that he was planning a war, Anakin. From him. Not you or Padmé. I hope that makes sense.”

I dragged Clovis off the chair carelessly. “So you don’t trust me?”

Obi-Wan walked to me and helped me move Clovis’s body into a woolen sack. I did most of the work. Obi-Wan held the bag open, while I moved Clovis into it.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you. But I know that you want to trust Padmé because you love her. And I’m not sure I trust her,” he said.

I looked up at Obi-Wan and nearly dropped Clovis. “I wouldn’t say ‘love.’ Not yet… It seems a little soon.”

“Well, I know you care deeply for her. That’s all I was trying to say. And of course, I’m not judging you for believing her completely.”

I waited to respond until we were finished with Clovis. Once the bag was completely around his body, I tightened the drawstring at the top. My jaw tightened when I turned back to Obi-Wan. “So, basically you don’t trust my judgement.”

“That’s not what I’m saying. I trust your judgement when it’s not clouded with feelings… for a woman.”

“My feelings aren’t clouding anything!” I exclaimed louder that I had meant.

Obi-Wan glared at me sternly. “Keep it down. Now, isn’t the time for this.” He pointed down at Clovis in the bag.

“Fine,” I grumbled.

“Are you ready to proceed with our plan then? We can talk about that other thing later.”

I nodded in annoyance.

Obi-Wan proceeded through the door first. I followed him, dragging Clovis in the bag on the stone floor. We walked through the halls and went down nearly every staircase.

I wanted to drag Clovis down the stairs, but Obi-Wan wouldn’t allow that. In my mind, Clovis deserved to wake up bruised. The way he treated Padmé on a regular basis proved that.

We reached the first level of the dungeon. The guards on duty were all aware of our plan. Cody and Rex stood at their post near the front of the dungeon. They didn’t say a word as we passed by.

We continued down the stairs to the lowest level of the dungeon. I could tell Obi-Wan felt guilty from the look on his face. This was the most isolated part of the dungeon. But it was the best place to hide Clovis because hardly anyone ever came down to this level.

I took Clovis out the bag and handcuffed him to the wall.

Obi-Wan looked away. “I don’t like this.”

“This was your idea! We can’t go back now.”

“I don’t want to go back. But it just doesn’t feel right.”

“We’re doing it for Naboo.” I stared at Clovis’s unconscious body scornfully. He deserved this. Obi-Wan didn’t see how Clovis was abusive towards Padmé. “We could kill him.”

Obi-Wan immediately dragged me away from Clovis. “Do you realize the danger we are in? This is treason already. If the council found out about this, we would be hung. If we kill him, we don’t have a chance of convincing them to our side.”

“What will they think when they find out he’s in prison.”

“I hope we can convince them before they find that part out.”


	6. Chapter 6

Waiting was becoming more and more intolerable as the hours passed by. I had been in the stables since noon and hadn’t left even for supper. I wasn’t hungry anymore anyway. I just needed her to come back now. I had so much to tell her. So much had happened since she had left. It was all too overwhelming, and I missed having someone to talk to. Obi-Wan wasn’t a good listener like she was.

I knew how much Obi-Wan wanted to be there for me and help me solve my problems. But whenever I told him about what was going on in my life, he ended up cutting me off before I could finish the whole story and would turn our conversation into a lecture. Sometimes that was helpful, like when I needed to make a decision. I could always count on him for advice.

But there were many times when I just needed someone to listen and nothing more. Ahsoka was the perfect listener. Most of the time she would only listen, but sometimes she would give me an outside perspective on whatever situation I found myself. But regardless of what I was going through, she was there to listen. Well, she had been. Until our fight.

It all seemed so long ago and entirely unimportant. I regretted letting my anger get the best of me and hurting her. She was there for me since we met. But I wasn’t there for her that night. And then our relationship became more strained after that. It was probably all my fault.

I paced back and forth on the straw covered stable. I needed a way to release my nervousness, but pacing wasn’t helping. R2 neighed loudly and startled me. I turned to look at him. “Am I bothering you?”

I walked up to his stall and started stroking his mane. His eyes revealed to me that he was worried. My behavior must have been making him nervous too. “Everything is okay. I’m just trying to figure out what to say to Ahsoka. She should be back tonight.” I looked to the stable entrance at the night sky. “I hope.”

I waited around in the stable for the next few hours. I talked to R2 for most of the time. When it was about midnight, I decided to leave for the dorms. I struggled to keep my eyes open. I’d see Ahsoka in the morning.

I walked out of the stable in the direction of the dorms. Leaning my head back, I gazed at the millions of stars shining down and illuminating the land. It had been ages since I took time to admire them. The last time I was probably with Ahsoka. Stargazing was something we used to do together to get away from the castle, responsibilities, and Obi-Wan. Well, I needed to get away from Obi-Wan.

I turned my attention to what was in front of me. And I noticed something in the distance. I came to a stop and stared. It looked like a horse. A white horse? As it came closer, I realized exactly who was riding it.

I sprinted forwards. The grass was especially high on this part of the land, but I would allow nothing to slow me down. I couldn’t wait any longer. So many things had happed, and I wanted to tell her all about them.

Her horse stopped when I reached them, standing about ten feet away. I looked up, and Ahsoka was smiling… at me.

“Anakin??? What are you doing here?”

I stepped closer to her and held out my hand. “I was waiting for you, believe it or not.”

She took my hand, and I assisted her with climbing off her horse. “That’s so sweet.”

I shrugged, letting go of her hand. “How was your trip?”

“A bit stressful. But it could have been worse. Padmé is stronger than she leads you on to think.”

I scratched the back of my neck. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that Ahsoka said something nice about Padmé. “So you two got along?”

Ahsoka laughed. “Yeah. Surprisingly, we work well together. I mean she still annoys me, but that’s not her fault.”

I hoped my smile was hiding my amazement. Ahsoka was different. She had somehow become even more mature. I didn’t sense jealousy as she talked about Padmé this time. I reached out and hugged her. “I’m so proud of you, Ahsoka.”

“For what?” Ahsoka asked, falling into my arms.

“Everything. You’ve done so much to help Padmé even though you don’t exactly get along. You really care about people.”

“Thank you for saying that.”

Her blue eyes caught the light from the stars as she leaned back to look at me. I could tell she was happy. But it wasn’t because of me. Not that she wasn’t happy to see me. All I knew was that there was a new light in her eyes that I had never seen before. “What is it?”

She continued to stare at me. “I had a lot of time to think on that trip….”

I raised my eyebrows. “And?”

“I realized something.” She let out a long sigh. “The truth is—” She looked down at her feet. “This is going to sound so crazy.”

“Just say it.”

Letting go of me, she turned her attention to the stars only. “I realized I don’t need everything I want.”

“What?” I couldn’t figure out where she was going with this.

“The last few years, I’ve spent so much time crying over what I couldn’t have. I’ve waisted so much time waiting for something that just wasn’t meant to be, I guess. I’ve learned to be happy for other people.” She placed both her hands on my shoulders. “I’m happy for you and Padmé. I’mglad that you found someone that makes you happy, Anakin.”

“Really?”

“Yes, you’re my best friend. I want you to have everything you’ve ever wanted in life. And if Padmé can give that to you, you should go for it. I know you’re probably going to leave for Naboo, right?”

My heart was beating too fast. It wasn’t because of joy or excitement over the fact that Ahsoka approved of my relationship with Padmé. I was so confused. She was fine with me leaving Coruscant? She was happy to see me go? Of course, I was leaving. And I was nervous about telling her. Now, I didn’t have to. But I didn’t think that she would be overjoyed. It was selfish, but I wanted her to be disappointed at least. I wanted her to miss me. And I didn’t know why it bothered me so much.

“Anakin?”

“Oh, sorry. I am leaving sometime soon. That’s what Padmé and I planned for.”

“I think it’s wonderful. I know she misses you already.”

“Yeah, she’s very sweet like that.”

Ahsoka gave me one last quick hug. “I hate to cut this conversation short, but I really need to get back to my room. I’m so tired.”

I patted her one the back. “Oh, sure. Go ahead. I’ll put Sea Bunny up for you.”

“Thanks!”

“Meet Obi-Wan and I for breakfast tomorrow. We need to talk to you about some of the changes that have happened since you’ve been gone.”

“Alright. I haven’t been gone for even a week. But okay,” she said, walking to the dorms.

I waved goodbye to her and then started walking back to the stables with Sea Bunny. I thought seeing Ahsoka would have made me feel better because I had missed her. But oddly enough, I missed her even more now. I felt like I was losing her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you are still enjoying this story!! I’m trying not to drag it out endlessly. But I also don’t want to make the plot unfold too quickly. I’m really feeling uninspired for some reason. I will keep writing anyway lol. But let me know if you still like this story or not. I know the Anisoka romance is a little slow rn....


	7. Chapter 7

Obi-Wan and I sat at a square table in the back of the of the knights’ refectory. We had our plates of food in front of us. We each had a small loaf of freshly baked bread and tart jam, steak, and potatoes. Obi-Wan held a hot cup of tea in his hands and sipped it slowly. He was wide awake and smiled as he enjoyed his tea. I fought with my eyes, trying to keep them open. I wanted to rest my head on the table. But the plate of food kept me sitting upright. I constantly rubbed my eyes and blinked.

“Anakin!”

My body jolted, and I straightened my posture. “What?”

“You haven’t eaten!”

I scowled. “It’s five-thirty in the morning. I’m not really hungry.”

Obi-Wan stopped sipping his tea to respond. “Getting up early is my secret to success. I suppose you’d better take notes.”

“I’m not here to take notes. Or talk to you,” I grumbled. “We’re both here to discuss the current situation with Ahsoka.”

Obi-Wan looked around the refectory with a dumb smirk. “Well, I don’t see her. So we might as well enjoy each other’s company.” He took another sip of tea. “How have you been, Anakin?” He held back a laugh.

I glared at him. “Absolutely awful. I could have had a decent day. But this old man with a scruffy beard came into my bedroom—”

Obi-Wan gasped, so obviously fake. “Anakin… that’s quite scandalous. You let a man into your room.” He stroked his beard. “Also, I had no idea you were into older men. To each his own, I suppose.

It took all of my willpower not to punch him in the face, especially because of his smirk. “You interrupted me. So, you don’t have the whole story.”

He grimaced. “I would prefer that you keep the details of your encounter private.”

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. I wasn’t in the mood for jokes. Definitely not Obi-Wan’s. “Shut up.”

He reached over and patted me on the shoulder. “If it gets serious, I would love to meet him of course. Don’t worry.”

“Good to know,” I huffed. “Ahsoka, please hurry up.”

I took a few bites of the bread. But I really wasn’t hungry. I was so anxious to tell Ahsoka what had happened to Coruscant in the short time she was gone. If I had been able to sleep in, I probably would have found Obi-Wan’s humor funny. But when I thought back on the joke he made, perhaps not.

“She was supposed to be here by now,” I complained.

“Enjoy your food. And shut up. I’m trying to drink my tea.”

I let out a long sigh and pushed my food to the other side of the table. Closing my eyes, I laid my head down on my arms up on the table. I thought about what I needed to tell Ahsoka when she finally did arrive. But my mind was constantly interrupted by Obi-Wan’s chewing and drinking. I clenched my jaw in frustration. I wanted to lash out at him, probably because of my mental exhaustion. But I didn’t have a chance.

“Hi, boys. Sorry I’m late.”

I sat up immediately and saw Ahsoka standing before me. She was smiling and took a seat between Obi-Wan and me.

“Good morning, Ahsoka. I’m glad that someone else besides me has a positive attitude,” Obi-Wan said as he smirked at me.

Ahsoka patted me on the shoulder. “Oh, is Anakin in a bad mood?”

I nodded. “Obi-Wan woke me up way to early.”

She laughed, and I realized to the extent I had missed her laugh. And it saddened me. We were in the process of repairing our friendship, and I was about to leave.

“You probably wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t woken you,” she replied.

“Yeah,” I admitted.

Obi-Wan had finished off his tea and his breakfast. He set the dishes aside on the table. “It’s good to see the both of you together for once.”

“I agree,” she said happily.

Obi-Wan and I stared at each other for an uncomfortably long time. We were both trying to figure out how we should break the news of Clovis to Ahsoka. I doubted she would care much about what happened to him. She and I both hated him. Obi-Wan didn’t know the things I knew about Clovis. Obi-Wan was Clovis’s favorite.

There were things I would never forgive him for. He was abusive towards the woman I cared for. He was supposed to be her husband. And then I would never be able to forgive him for the way he handled Satine and her people, the Mandalorians. He was a despicable ruler. How did we ever call him king?

“Anakin has something he wants to tell you, Ahsoka,” Obi-Wan announced.

“I do? I thought you did.”

“You’re better at telling stories than I am,” Obi-Wan remarked.

I smiled at him skeptically. Was he actually giving me a compliment or was he trying to get me to tell her because he didn’t want to. “If you say so.”

Ahsoka chimed in. “This better explain why things are so quiet around here. Don’t think I haven’t noticed something is different.”

“Well, while you were taking Padmé back to Naboo, Obi-Wan and I weren’t just sitting around,” I began.

“Really, I figured you were chasing after girls. And Obi-Wan was reading a book while sipping on tea.”

“I wish,” Obi-Wan replied.

I cleared my throat obnoxiously loud. “Let me continue, please.”

“Go ahead,” Obi-Wan told me.

“Clovis was going to bring us into another war after he and Padmé were… married. Padmé uncovered his plot and realized she couldn’t be a part of his war. So, she left. Obi-Wan and I took it upon ourselves to keep Clovis from starting this war.”

Ahsoka’s eyes widened in interest. “I’m interested in learning how. That’s quite a feat.”

“Well,” I smiled. “It was mostly me.”

Obi-Wan frowned. “I don’t think so. Perhaps I should finish the story.”

“If that’s what you want,” I said dejectedly. But I knew Obi-Wan had a better chance of telling the situation accurately to Ahsoka since he was the one who had dealt with the council.

“We all have a busy day ahead, so I will try to give you the short version, Ahsoka,” Obi-wan said. “Anakin and I captured the king. We carried him to the dungeon and locked him away on the lowest level.”

Ahsoka covered her mouth with her hands and tried not to interrupt him.

“Of course that was treason. But we realized it was what had to be done. Then I used my master negotiating skills to convince the council to our side and to turn against the king. Well... former king.”

Ahsoka gasped and looked back and forth between us, unsure if we were serious. I nodded and reassured her that we were, causing her to gasp a second time.

“Now, the council is in control of Coruscant and I somehow have gained even more responsibilities than before. With Anakin leaving, I was hoping you would take his place,” Obi-Wan said.

“Of course!” Ahsoka agreed. “When are you leaving Anakin?”

“He told me tonight,” Obi-Wan answered for me.

“Wow, that’s soon,” Ahsoka exclaimed.

I nodded and gave a hesitant smile. I hoped I look excited. But I couldn’t stop thinking about how little time I would have with Ahsoka. Breakfast was probably it. After we were all finished, Obi-Wan most likely would want to discuss her new duties as soon as possible. I had to pack too. There was nothing I could do. If I changed my mind and said I’d leave tomorrow, I might not leave at all. But I couldn’t let myself forget that Padmé was expecting me.


	8. Chapter 8

“At least you’ll have R2,” Ahsoka reminded me with a bright smile, a smile that was awkwardly bright. So bright I wondered if she was hiding something.

I was. My smile was entirely fake. That’s why I was suspected hers wasn’t real. Hers looked how mine felt. Were we both hiding our true feelings about this situation with smiles? I nearly asked her. But I didn’t want to pry. I unlocked the gate to R2’s stable and led him outside into the night. Ahsoka followed us.

“Very true,” I replied, trying my best to seem excited about leaving. “Do you think I will like Naboo?”

“Of course. Naboo is very beautiful. Lots of trees and flowers, and waterfalls. The castle you’ll be living in is possibly nicer than ours,” Ahsoka spoke expressively, trying her best to describe Naboo in the best way she could.

I smiled again. I felt so fake. “Wow, Snips! Sounds like a vacation. Maybe you should move with me,” I said. I knew she would take it as a joke. But I wasn’t sure if I were really joking.

“I’ll come visit. Or I hope I can. With you gone, I’ll probably be pretty busy.” She frowned for a moment before replacing it with another bright smile moments later. “I’m sure Obi-Wan can work it out.”

She probably wouldn’t be able to come. We both knew that. But pretended we didn’t. I couldn’t think about not being able to see her. I didn’t want to know what that was like. If I thought about it for too long, I might not leave. I had to forget the fact that I would miss her. She was my best friend. I wondered if I would be bored without her. Probably.

“I’m sure we’ll see each other,” I lied.

“Of course we will,” she lied. “I still can’t believe you’re leaving. I mean… it’s great because you’ll be with the one you love. But still. It’s weird. I thought we would both be here forever.”

“Me too,” I replied, suddenly nostalgic.

Never before I met Padmé had I ever entertained the idea of leaving Coruscant. I lived in a castle basically. I was a general. Rex and the boys were there. Obi-Wan was there. Ahsoka.

But Padmé wasn’t. And I did want to see her, but I didn’t want to leave Coruscant. Why couldn’t I have both?

Ahsoka sighed. “Well, I don’t want to keep you. You have quite a long ride up to Naboo.”

I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. “Yeah, you’re right.”

We stared at each other for a long moment. Then I walked up to her slowly. I felt so awkward, but I reached out and hugged her. I breathed in harshly, in shock because she put her arms around me, hugging me back.

I rested my head on top of hers and held back my tears. What if this was the last hug I would be able to give her? Before I could truly fathom what that would be like, Ahsoka let out a sob. I was stunned and looked down at her. Ahsoka… was crying.

I hugged her tighter. “I’m sure Padmé will let me come visit. And I’m sure Obi-Wan will let you come to Naboo. It’s going to be fine.”

Seeing her like this… it made me want to break down. She would actually miss me. I wanted her to miss me. But I didn’t want her to cry. Not this severely. She had seemed so happy a few moments ago. Was she faking the whole time?

“I’m sorry, Anakin,” she whimpered. “I’m so sorry. I don’t mean to be dramatic.”

“Don’t apologize. And don’t think for a moment that I won’t miss you, Snips.”

She let go of me to wipe her tears away. She smiled. “Oh, I know you will. Also, I don’t know what Obi-Wan is going to do without you. He won’t have anyone to babysit.”

I bit my lip to help restrain myself from laughing. “I’m sure you’ll take my place.”

“Doubt it. I’m responsible and respectful.”

I rolled my eyes. “Alright, I get it.”

She took a few steps back from me and blinked her tears away. “You’d better go. Don’t keep Padmé waiting. Also, I don’t want to cry again.”

I nodded. “Goodbye, General Tano.”

“Bye, Skyguy.” She waved and then started walking back to the dorms.

I didn’t watch her walk back. I turned to R2 and pulled myself up on his back. I wanted to glance back at her, but I didn’t. I had made my decision to leave. Though I wanted to, I couldn’t run after her to tell her goodbye one last time. We had both suffered enough.

I clicked my tongue against my mouth, signaling to R2 that I was ready to move forwards. R2 began galloping forwards.

The cool, night air blew against my skin and refreshed me. Anything that felt good to me was welcome because I needed a distraction from Ahsoka. I was already missing her. And I could have looked back and saw her. But I gazed up at the stars instead.

I should have looked down at the grass. The bright stars reminded me of Ahsoka. I thought of the way her blue eyes reflected their light. A tear dripped down my face. If I only would have known the time we spent arguing was part of my last few weeks in Coruscant. We could have spent that time together like we used to.

I deserved this pain. I was so consumed with what I wanted that I didn’t consider her feelings. I also avoided her when she was hurting because I just didn’t want to deal with our problems. She made several attempts to reach out to me. But I ignored her.

She forgave me easily. She was moving on, making new friends. She’d be fine without me. Maybe better.

I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but I felt as though I was holding her back.


	9. Chapter 9

Naboo was everything that Ahsoka had described it to be. The fields were thicker and greener and covered with clouds of yellow and white wildflowers. The trees were taller and wider and greater in number. Lakes and rivers were other prominent features of the land and were the source for the waterfalls surrounding the city.

The city surrounding the king’s palace was perfect in its design. The architecture complimented the natural elements of Naboo’s landscape in its simplicity. Green vines and flowers were the most popular choices of decoration for the homes and state buildings. The colors of the buildings were bright and warm, quite the opposite of the imposing, sometimes intimidating architecture found back home.

The rushing of the light breeze and the quiet breaking of the distant waterfalls eased my confused mind while I leaned against the balustrade of Padme’s balcony. It helped me forget for awhile how much I missed my home.

“Anakin!”

I turned around, and Padmé was standing behind me. I smiled when I saw her. She looked stunning. Her long, curly hair was down, and she wore a simple yellow dress that just touched the floor.

“Are you alright?” Padmé asked.

“Oh yeah. I’m fine.” I stepped away from the balcony.

“Are you ready to go? I don’t want to rush you, but we’re going to be a little late.”

I walked up to her and offered my arm to her. “We can go. I’m sorry to keep you waiting.”

“No, it’s fine!” Padmé reassured me with a disarming smile. “I understand you’re nervous. So thank you for being so willing to come. My parents are eager to meet you.”

“I’m excited to meet them,” I said. That was a lie. Completely. I was terrified. Her father was the king and her mother was the queen of Naboo. If they didn’t like me, I don’t know what would happen then. Would I have to go back to Coruscant? That didn’t sound too terrible if I was being perfectly honest.

“Wow, really?” She was surprised.

“Of course.” Another lie. However, I was glad that she couldn’t see through my deception. Or was she pretending as well?

Together, arm in arm, Padmé and I walked through the wide hallways of her castle. The sunlight streamed through the numerous stained glass windows as we went. There was a story behind each stained glass window, according to Padmé. The artwork of each refers to a different part in Naboo’s history or sometimes even myths passed down through thegenerations. And many of the windows were portraits of the royal family. Somewhere along the hallway, we stopped in front of a very special window. This one was a portrait of Padmé herself.

“This one was done right before I left for Coruscant. My parents wanted something to remember me by because they weren’t sure when they would see me again.”

“It’s very beautiful,” I said. “They obviously love you very much.”

“They do. I’m so glad to be home. I don’t know what I would have done if I ended up marrying Clovis.”

I shivered. “Let’s not think about that.”

She agreed, and we continued down the hallway, getting closer and closer to her parents. I wanted to continue talking about the windows, but Padmé pulled me along. I kept looking back at her portrait. I could only imagine how much her parents must have paid for that. A small fortune most likely. And I assumed that amount was only a fraction of how much they cared for and valued their daughter, reminding me that they weren’t going to like me. I was an outsider.

We stopped walking when we came to two large wooden doors. The guards on each side opened the doors for us. They stared me down as I walked by, making me feel rather unwelcome. But if only I would have known that the expressions of those guards were friendly in comparison to Padmé’s family’s.

The doors led us to the dining room for only the royal family. The table was smaller than I expected, having only enough room for ten people. The first person to glare at me was Padmé’s father King Ruwee. He looked every bit a king. He was wearing expensive looking robes and a gold crown decorated with rubies, the same type Padmé had worn around her neck the night we met. Although he still stared at me, I looked over to the woman beside him, Queen Jobal. She seemed disgusted with me, and I hadn’t even opened my mouth yet. Beside the queen was a much younger woman. She was certainly Padmé’s sister, and she was the only one other than Padmé who smiled at me.

“Father, Mother!” Padmé said, letting go of my arm. She ran to them and gave them hugs.

They embraced their daughter affectionately, and only then did they stop staring at me. I stood awkwardly on the other side of the table by myself.

“You must be Anakin.”

I turned to the right and saw Sola standing beside me. “Yes, nice to meet you, your majesty.” I started to bow, but she stopped me.

“Just call me Sola. We’re practically family.”

I smiled to hide my embarrassment. “Oh right.” I looked over to Padmé who was still talking to her parents. I wish she hadn’t left me by myself. I didn’t know what to say to Sola because I was afraid I would say the wrong thing.

“How do you like Naboo so far?” Sola asked.

I nodded. “Of course. It’s beautiful.”

“Sola,” Padmé interrupted, coming between us. “I was going to introduce you to him.”

Sola rolled her eyes at Padmé. “I wanted to introduce myself. He’s much more handsome than you led me to believe in your letters.”

I couldn’t refrain from grinning widely. “You wrote about me?”

Padmé’s face turned red. “Anyway, Sola, I’m going to introduce Anakin to Mother and Father.”

Padmé dragged me around to the other side of table where her parents were. Standing right in front of them, I realized all of my confidence that I usually had was left back in Coruscant. I was at a complete loss of words, petrified that I would make a mistake and ruin their opinion of me.

“This is Anakin Skywalker. He is the one who helped me escape Clovis and come home safely to you.”

King Ruwee’s gaze softened… slightly. His scowl was replaced by a frown. “Well, I suppose we have to thank you.”

Padmé’s mother still looked disgusted by me. “That was your job right? To keep my lovely daughter safe?”

“Yes, that’s correct,” I answered as if I was being interrogated.

Padmé shot her mother a glare. “Anakin was the one who made me feel most welcome during my stay in Coruscant. So, I was hoping we all could return the favor.”

Queen Jobal immediately flashed a smile towards me. It was so fake looking that I found it hard not to wince and turn away.

The king only nodded and sat down at the table. “I believe it’s time to eat.”

Everyone agrees and sat down in their assigned seats. I was thankful that I was allowed to sit by Padmé. However, I was not so fond of sitting right across from Sola. Although Sola was the only one who was friendly to me, I wasn’t sure that her motives were entirely pure. She continually stared at me. I wasn’t trying to jump to any conclusions, but she looked at me in a way that Padmé had when we first met. Padmé didn’t notice so I convinced myself that it meant nothing. But I wasn’t so sure.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this chapter!!! Padmé’s parents are quite out of character, but I felt it was necessary to add more conflict within the story! Let me know if you enjoyed chapter ten ❤️

I couldn’t recall a dinner that had been quite so awkward as the one with Padmé’s family. I sat there as rigid as a statue and was too nervous to eat much of my food. Her parents didn’t bother with asking me any questions. I was wondering why they weren’t interested in learning anything about me because I was in a relationship with their daughter that they were supposed to love. They tried to avoid eye contact with me. I didn’t want to offend them so I ignored their rudeness. Maybe they were stressed. I knew as king and queen they must have had a lot on their mind.

I felt lucky to have someone like Padmé. She was the one who included me in the conversations and kept them going. She would ask me questions and tell stories to her parents about her time in Coruscant. Padmé made the dinner less awkward for everyone. The only other person who made an effort to get to know me was… Sola. Which was nice… I guess. Sola kinda reminded me of Padmé, except she was a little more direct with her words.

Sola and Padmé seemed like sisters who were best friends but constantly argued. Sola repeatedly interrupted Padmé mid-sentence just to say whatever was on her mind. I could tell that annoyed Padmé, but she held her tongue because we were at the dinner table.

It was a shame the awkwardness of the situation ruined the meal because the food was amazing. The fruit and vegetables were bright, crisp, and more flavored than what I was used to. I still couldn’t eat much.

After about two hours of suffering, the king and queen were ready to leave. I wondered why they stayed so long. My guess was that they wanted to watch me suffer. Padmé motioned for me to stand up when her parents did.

“Padmé, please join us for a walk,” the king announced. “Your mother and I would like to catch up with you.”

“Well, I would love to, but I was going to give Anakin a tour of the castle,” Padmé said politely. “I haven’t had a chance until today.”

“Not to worry,” the queen said. “Sola would be more than happy to do it for you. Wouldn’t you, Sola?”

Sola smiled at me. “Of course!”

Padmé’s eyes widened in horror. “Actually, I wanted to.”

“I really don’t mind,” Sola replied.

Queen Jobal glared at Padmé. “My dear, we have some important matters to discuss with you in private. Come along.”

Padmé sighed and hung her head. “Alright. Take care of Anakin for me, Sola.” She waved goodbye to me and left with her parents, leaving Sola and me alone in the dining hall.

I’d rather be left with Sola than her parents, but that wasn’t saying much. Padme’s parents so far were intolerable people. I doubted they were like that usually. All they probably needed was to get used to me. I was sure they were only concerned for their daughter.

However, I’d rather be left alone than be in the same room with Sola. I didn’t want to cause any problems, but something about her made me feel uncomfortable. Like the way she looked at me? I couldn’t understand it.

“Hello?”

I jumped hearing Sola’s voice. “Oh sorry. I was just thinking.”

She laughed. “I didn’t mean to startle you.” Sola walked to the doors and the guards opened them for her. “Are you coming?”

“Yes….” I said hesitantly.

I followed Sola down the hallway and she brought me outside to one of the castle’s many courtyards. In the center of this courtyard was a marble fountain with icy white waters reflecting the sunlight. I walked up to it and ran my hand through a stream of the cool water. I was looking for anything to distract me from how uncomfortable I felt around Sola. I glanced over my shoulder, and she was standing a few feet to the side of me with a perplexed expression on her face. Immediately, I looked back to the water and closed my eyes for a moment.

What was wrong with me?

Even I knew I wasn’t acting like myself. In Naboo, everyone was constantly judging me and waiting for me to mess up. In Coruscant, not everyone was a supporter of mine because of my unconventional battle strategies, but I had the support of my friends like Ahsoka, Obi-Wan, and Rex and the boys. Here, I had Padmé. And she was wonderful, but it wasn’t the same. She was always busy, which was awful because everyone else treated me like an outsider.

I wanted to go back.

Even though I had only been here for a few days, I was completely homesick. I felt like Naboo would never be a second home. Not ever. Sure, it was beautiful, but the people were what made Coruscant beautiful to me, not the scenery.

“You certainly act different than Padmé described you in her letters. She told me you were rather outgoing.”

I withdrew from my mind and focused on Sola. Why was she even bothering to make such a comment? “Usually I am. Back home at least.”

“Do you even want to be here?”

“Why would you ask that?” I was struggling not to lash out at her. Sola was Padmé sister.

“You’re acting awkward and annoyed with everyone.”

My arms felt to my sides, and I let out a deep breath. “You don’t know me. Stop making assumptions. I suppose your mother wanted you to take me out here so you could interrogate me?” I could feel her stepping closer to me.

“I’m sorry if I’m skeptical of your intentions. Padmé is my younger sister.”

“If you don’t mind, I think that I’m done with this tour,” I said as I pushed passed her. I didn’t bother to look back once as I went back inside the castle.

As quickly as I could manage, I ran to Padmé’s room and stopped at her isolated balcony. Once again, I leaned against the railing and closed my eyes. I imagined what was before me was Coruscant with its practical buildings and lively markets. And I imagined that Ahsoka and Obi-Wan were both beside me.

I wanted to run back to Coruscant. But I had only been here for a few days. I could afford to give Naboo another chance. Padmé deserved that. I just had to decide if Padmé was enough to keep me here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry my updates are kinda random! I really just write whenever I have a chance!
> 
> Also Merry Christmas y’all! I will be releasing the next chapter by Sunday most likely! Thanks for reading


	11. Chapter 11

Padmé, with a dazzling smile, opened her bedroom door for me. It felt as if I hadn’t seen her for several days even though it had only been one. I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face into her soft curls. She was the only one who I could count on in Naboo. It was a lonely existence for me there most of the time. She was a princess, and her parents kept her extremely busy with meetings and banquets. I wasn’t allowed to come.

I was grateful for every moment with Padmé. She made me feel wanted and loved. She was the only reason I was in Naboo.

“It’s so good to see you! How are you doing?” Padmé asked.

“I’m okay,” I said. That was the best thing I could say. I hated lying to her, but I couldn’t tell her that I was miserable. It was her family’s fault, not hers.

Padmé led me further into her room. The doors to her balcony were wide open and the moonlight touched the shiny floors. Out on the balcony was a table and two chairs. There were candles on the balustrade and on the table for lighting. A light breeze blew the aroma of the steaming food throughout the room. We sat down on opposite sides of the table.

“So what do you think?” Padmé asked.

I looked down at the plate in front of me with a perfectly grilled steak and various kinds of fruit from the palace. “It looks amazing.”

She placed her hand over mine. “I wanted to do something special for you. I know you have been feeling down.”

I forced a smile. I really wanted her to know that I appreciated her efforts. She could probably see through my expression and view what I was feeling. But I hoped she wouldn’t bring it up. There was nothing I could do to change things here. Her parents were in control of her schedule for the most part. I wouldn’t have minded so much, but she was all I really had here. I felt so guilty but I had already began to wonder if love was really all that mattered in life?

Back in Coruscant, I was a General. I fought for my kingdom and helped make a difference. I was proud of my achievements, which helped me to feel good about myself. I was respected and valued by the people of Coruscant.

In Naboo, I was nothing. I felt like I was stripped away of everything that made me myself. I was hated by Padmé’s family. I wasn’t even an official citizen here. I missed my friends. I missed my best friend… Ahsoka. Padmé couldn’t be there for me all the time. I was starting to wonder if our worlds were too far apart to ever be connected.

“Anakin, what are you thinking about?”

“Sorry, I just got distracted.”

“I don’t want you to keep things from me. What’s going on? You never seem happy. I want to help you.”

I dropped my false happiness and let my face show her the sadness that I felt inside. “I’m not sure if I like it here.”

She frowned. “I can’t say I’m surprised. My family hasn’t been the most welcoming. But I am trying to work with them a bit. I know they will come around. They love me. So they will love you… eventually.”

“It’s not just that. I miss my job. It was always one of my dreams to be a General. Here, I could never have that. I’m not even a citizen.”

“That will soon be fixed. I’ll get around to that with my father. I promise.”

I looked to the side at the night sky, avoiding her eyes. “All the people that have been by my side my entire life are in Coruscant. Ahsoka has been my best friend for too long for me to just forget her.”

“Is that was this is really about? You miss Ahsoka?” I could tell she truly felt sorry for me.

“Not entirely. But partly.”

“It’s probably best for her that you’re not there though,” Padmé mused.

That comment caught me entirely off guard. I furrowed my brows as I stared at her. “Excuse me?”

She shook her head. “I only meant that it’s probably best for Ahsoka so that she can move on. I know you being around all the time was very hard for her.”

I glared at her and crossed my arms, pulling my hands away from her. “Why did you say that?”

She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes. “You really don’t know do you?”

“Know what?”

Padmé looked around the room before leaning over the table, closer to me. “Ahsoka was in love with you. Since you’re here, you might as well know.”

Being shocked was an understatement. I felt as if I blacked out for a few moments. I didn’t believe Padmé. “I think you may have misread me and Ahsoka. We were just really close.”

She grinned. “That’s what I thought too. But when Ahsoka took me to Naboo, she said something very interesting. Before she left, she told me to take care of you. She said that she has loved you for a long time.”

“How do you know she meant it that way?”

“It was the way she said it. And it makes sense, thinking about that way she always looked at you.”

I hadn’t exactly considered the depth of what Padmé was revealing to me. I was more just stunned that Ahsoka felt that way about me. I still didn’t know if I believed her. Ahsoka loved me? “She never really gave me any reason to believe that she had feelings. Are you sure?”

Padmé withheld her laughter. “I am positive. I can’t believe you didn’t notice.”

“I really didn’t know,” I said with all seriousness.

“I probably should have kept my mouth shut. But I figured it wasn’t that big of a deal since you don’t live in Coruscant anymore.”

“Yeah, it’s fine.” I just wanted to end the conversation as soon as possible. I was trying to enjoy the small amount of time I had with Padmé and not worry about anything else. She really had the worst timing.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry it’s been a month since I last posted! School has been crazy. But I did post two chapters! So I hope that makes up for it!!

After Padmé and I had finally parted ways for the night, I laid on my bed and stared up at the marble ceiling several feet above me. The night was so quiet that the only thing I could hear were my own thoughts, which kept me wide awake. A hundred different thoughts and feelings were thundering inside my mind, and I wasn’t sure if I could process them all. At least not all at once. But I couldn’t stop repeating Padme’s words, Ahsoka was in love with you. Since you’re here, you might as well know.

I couldn’t believe that I never noticed. I never thought there was something abnormal about our relationship. The way Ahsoka hugged me, I thought that only showed that she cared about me. I never took the time to wonder why she looked at me the way she did. She did look at me differently than she did everyone else. Ahsoka’s eyes would linger for an extra moment every time she looked at me. But she had always done that ever since I had known her. I didn’t read into it much back then.

Now though… I recognized why Ahsoka looked at me that way. It was very similar to the way Padmé did. How did I miss it for that long? I was really that blind.

Ahsoka was always kind and supportive of me. She let me know all the time that she thought I was amazing. Our hugs lasted a little too long now that I was looking back. We were barely ever a part.

I had to wonder: why didn’t she ever say anything? Didn’t she know that she could trust me, that she could tell me anything? I wished I would have known she felt that way. I never thought that she would want me like that. I thought she saw me as nothing more than a friend.

“That would have changed things,” I whispered aloud unintentionally.

I paused my breathing, stunned that I let that slip out. I had never really thought about Ahsoka in that way, but truthfully, I had always thought she was beautiful. Not just her looks but her character and her ability to make everyone feel important. I knew her better than I knew anyone else. I knew Ahsoka better than Padmé…. I did. Ahsoka knew me better than Padmé did. Was I happy that Ahsoka loved me in that way? Now that I knew did I want her to?

If I had known my best friend felt that way, I probably would have stopped looking for anyone else. Even without being in a “relationship,” Ahsoka and I had the type of connection that many spend their whole lives looking for. We never got bored of each other. We could be content sitting beside each other saying absolutely nothing. We fought beside each other in battle and protected each other. That was something Padmé and I would never have. I used to think I was okay with that. But I wasn’t sure anymore.

I loved Padmé. But being in Naboo for what felt like way too long made me realize that something was missing. Something was missing in our relationship. Admitting that made me feel better somehow. Naboo would never be my home. But it could be if… Ahsoka was there.

Padmé and I didn’t have the same friendship. We loved each other, but we weren’t best friends. The kind of connection that Ahsoka and I had wasn’t something you could find in everyone. It was almost a one in a lifetime thing. Yet, I so far had been ignoring it and not appreciating it because before I didn’t understand how rare something like that truly was.

That impossibly strong bond that I had with Ahsoka wouldn’t be something I would have with Padmé ever. I wasn’t okay with that. But what did that mean for Padmé and me? I still loved her.

* * * *

Almost a week had past since that dinner. I had finally made my decision about what I needed to do for my future and my happiness. It was the hardest decision I had ever made in my life. I don’t know why, but it was. I was used to having to make tough decisions as a general every time I went out to battle. But I had never faced one as difficult as the one I made today.

I woke up early to catch Padmé before she left her room to attend to her royal duties. I knocked, and she opened to door for me. She gave me a tired smile.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you at this hour,” she said.

I sighed. “I need to talk to you. I can’t wait anymore.”

She reached out and took me into her arms. “Well, tell me. I’m here to listen.”

I pulled away to look into her eyes. “I never wanted to hurt you, Padmé. You’re one of the kindest people I know. But I can’t stay here anymore. I’ve tried. But I know I can’t.”

“What are you saying?”

“Naboo isn’t my home, Padmé. I can’t stay here. The last thing I wanted to do is leave, but I have to. My family is in Coruscant. Just visiting every once in a while isn’t enough.”

I could see tears in her eyes, but she wasn’t angry. “How long have you felt this way?”

I frowned. “Pretty much as soon as I got here. I just kept hoping I would get used to it, but if anything, I feel worse.”

“You know that I can’t go with you.”

I nodded. “I know. But I have to go where I belong. And everyone else in Naboo except you has reminded me that I don’t belong here.”

“So,” she blinked and tears fell down her cheeks. “You’re ending this then?”

I held both of her small hands. “You are absolutely amazing. You are not the problem. But I can’t be happy if I stay here, and you would constantly be wondering why I’m not okay. I know you care about me. So, I can’t put that burden on you.”

She hugged me tighter and cried on my shoulder. “I understand. I wished you would have told me sooner. You need to go where you’re happy. Naboo is where I am happy. Coruscant is your home. I will never regret the time I spent with you.”


	13. Chapter 13

The moment the castle of Coruscant, my home, was in view I smiled truly for the first time in too long. As cliché as it was, a weight had been lifted off my shoulders when I arrived here. I told R2 to gallop faster. From the way he held his head up, I could tell that R2 was as happy to be home as I was. He sprinted over the hills, bringing me closer and closer to the person that I had missed most of all.

Seeing the green hills and large oak trees surrounding the castle, I realized that Coruscant would always be my home. Naboo could never be a substitute or even come close to making me feel the same level of peace I felt here. Having lived in Naboo, I was able to appreciate more the beauty of Coruscant. I felt freer. The scent in the air was familiar and I knew that Coruscant was where I needed to stay. I had spent most of my life here; why did I ever think for a moment that I could be happy somewhere else.

Because of R2’s fast pace, we swiftly reached the barn. I wondered if Ahsoka was already there. She was always with Sea Bunny. My heart had never beat so quickly. Was this what Ahsoka had felt every time we had been together? If so, she was frightfully good at hiding her feelings. That was something I had never been able to do.

I slid off R2’s saddle and led him under the roof of the stables. I looked up, expecting to see her. But she wasn’t there. Obi-Wan was, though. He was feeding his horse Willow a bright orange carrot. He looked towards me for a moment and then looked back at Willow. In the next moment, he dropped the carrot on the ground, and his hands fell to his side. I could see a smile on his face.

“I can’t believe it,” Obi-Wan mused.

I opened the gate to R2’s stall, and he eagerly went inside. Once I closed the gate back, I approached Obi-Wan.

“Can’t believe what?”

Without saying another word, Obi-Wan opened his arms and hugged me. “I honestly wondered if I would ever see you again.”

“Well, here I am.”

Obi-Wan smiled and went back to feeding Willow carrots. “As the leader of Coruscant, I don’t have the ability to travel on a whim, you see.”

“Yet you have time here?”

“I had to take a break. The council is stressing me out. Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth turning Coruscant into a democracy.” He sighed. “That was a joke.”

“Sure.” I looked around the stable. I noticed that Sea Bunny wasn’t in her stall. I wondered what Ahsoka could be up to now. “Do you know where Ahsoka is?”

“Not exactly. Today is her day off. I believe she and Lux are at the bay. At least that’s what I heard.”

Lux… that name sounded familiar.

But I couldn’t put a face to the name. I wanted to ask who he was, but it wasn’t out of curiosity. I had to admit… I felt threatened. I wondered if I had been replaced already. Of course, Ahsoka should have other friends than me. But what if Lux wasn’t just a friend. I was being irrational already, but I had come all this way. I didn’t want to lose her, or an opportunity to tell her what I was feeling.

“How long will you be back for?” Obi-Wan asked.

“Oh,” I paused. I guess it did make sense for him to think I was just visiting. “I’m not going back.”

Obi-Wan narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I’m not going back to Naboo. I came back here for good,” I replied.

Obi-Wan’s face was completely stunned. “Where’s Padmé? Don’t tell me….”

I nodded. “We broke up.”

“Anakin? What happened? I thought you were in love with her.”

“I was. And I still care about her. But I can’t stay in Naboo. It was killing me. I can’t really explain it. But I hate it there. I was so unhappy. I missed Coruscant and you and Ahsoka,” I answered.

Obi-Wan scratched the back of his head with a confused expression. “I can’t believe you broke up with her. All you wanted for the longest time was a relationship.”

“I do want one. But not with her, I guess. Her family despises me, and as pathetic as it sounds, I couldn’t deal with it. I didn’t have much of a life there.”

Obi-Wan put a hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry to hear about that. But…” he smiled. “You don’t know how glad I am to have you back.”

It felt so good that someone was glad I came back. I had gotten used to people hating my presence back in Naboo. Just the feeling of being welcomed home was enough to stay in Coruscant forever. At least, I knew I would always have Obi-Wan.

“Well, I had better get back to the castle. The council is waiting on me for a rather important decision,” Obi-Wan grumbled.

“I understand. But what decision?”

He sighed heavily. “We’re trying to decide what to do about Satine and her people. I can’t, in good conscience, keep them in prison forever. It’s a complicated situation.”

“Oh that. I probably shouldn’t get involved after what happened with Clovis.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes turned distant as he remembered the past. I had insulted the king and had almost gotten myself arrested. I would have gone to jail if it weren’t for him.

“I remember you acting very foolish,” he said walking out of the stable. “I will see you for dinner, I hope.”

I looked back to R2, who was now resting on a large bed of hay. I noticed it was fresh. Ahsoka must have kept R2’s stall up for me. I wondered what she was doing right this moment. If she were at the bay, maybe she were fishing? I missed fishing with her. I should have taken her more.

After I said goodbye to R2, I started walking back to the dorms. I had to admit I was exhausted.


	14. Chapter 14

I sat up in bed. I looked around and sighed in relief. I wasn’t dreaming after all. I was actually home. I smiled as I looked around the giant mess that was my own bedroom. If Obi-Wan would have seen my room, he probably would have had a heart attack, which is why I rarely let him in.

In Padmé’s castle, my room was kept perfectly clean at all times. But I preferred the clutter found back home because it reminded me that it was my own space. My response to Obi-Wan’s constant reminding me to clean was that “I prefer the lived-in look.” Rex was the one who had come up with that phrase, but he didn’t seem to mind that I borrowed it.

Looking over to my right, I found the morning sun streaming through my window. I kicked my covers off and stood to my feet. I had spent more than enough time sleeping. I dressed myself and tried to fix my wild hair with my hands. Once I looked decent enough, I stepped out of my room. I decided to go see if Ahsoka was still in her room. If she were, I planned to ask her to get breakfast with me.

I walked to her room, but I hadn’t expected to see anyone waiting by her door. Sadly, it wasn’t Ahsoka.

A boy was waiting in the hallway for her. He looked familiar, but I couldn’t put a name to his face.

He looked up at me. “General Skywalker? What are you doing here? I thought you went back to Naboo.”

“Uh… do I know you?”

“We met a while ago at the Citadel incident, but I’m sure you see a lot of faces. So, it makes sense why you wouldn’t remember me.” He held out his hand to shake mine. “I’m Lux Bonteri. I’m one of Ahsoka’s friends.”

This was the guy she went fishing with yesterday that Obi-Wan told me about, I thought.

“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t remember.”

“No worries, General.”

Standing beside him, I leaned against the wall. That was basically the end of our conversation. We were both waiting for Ahsoka. However, he had been waiting longer than I had.

Eventually, after I had stood in the hallway for a while, Ahsoka stepped out of her room. I choked. It was actually her. She was real, standing in front of me. I could have reached out and touched her if I wanted to, which stunned me. For too long, the only way I could see her was through memories.

At first, she didn’t know I was standing there. She looked at Lux first. It was probably because he was the one she was expecting to be there. Not me. Right in the middle of her wave at Lux, her eyes turned to me and she paused. She couldn’t believe what she saw. I could tell from her eyes. She wasn’t sure what to do. She clumsily approached me. She reached out and touched my shoulder. We stared into each others eyes. It must have been awkward from Lux’s perspective. Without a single word said between us, I held her in my arms. She didn’t let it last long, which was probably best for Lux’s sake.

She stepped back and smiled, like she always used to. “What in the world are you doing here?”

“Well, I’m back. That’s the short version anyway.”

“For good?”

I nodded. I wanted to elaborate. Why wouldn’t I want to tell my best friend everything that had happened. But it certainly wasn’t the time. Not with Lux here.

“Is Padmé with you?” Ahsoka asked.

I noticed that Lux was staring curiously at us. “Is there another time today when we could talk? Alone?”

She turned to Lux. “Well, I’m going to breakfast with Lux. And then after that we have to run some errands for Obi-Wan. But I’m sure I can figure something out.”

I looked at the floor, trying to hide my disappointment. “It doesn’t have to be today.”

“Yes, it does. It has to be. I have to know why you're back. All the time you were gone, I constantly wondered if I would ever see you again,” she replied.

Lux pushed past us, interrupting our conversation. I glared at him, but I didn’t bother to say anything to him.

“Ahsoka, we’d better get going now. Or we might not have time to eat,” Lux said. His tone was extremely polite. It was hard to be annoyed with him because I doubt he was purposely getting my the way.

“Oh, you’re right. I’m sorry, Anakin. I’ll come find you later today. I promise.”

I told them goodbye as they left. Lux walked a little too close to her in my eyes. But it was probably because of the way I felt about her. I needed to know what was going on between them, if anything. I couldn’t assume they were more than friends. But yesterday Obi-Wan told me they had spent the entire day together. So, I wondered if I had a reason to be worried.

If she had feelings for someone else, how could I interfere? That would be wrong to do something like that to her. She deserved to fall in love and be loved. But I didn’t think that Lux would do a better job than I could at that. I wanted it to be me, the one that she chose. Not him. But of course, it wasn’t up to me. She was the only one who could decide that. But perhaps she should know how I felt. That might help her decide. Hopefully in my favor.

I decided to return to my room instead of going to get breakfast. I didn’t want to run into them at the cafeteria. Right now I couldn’t handle seeing them together. I would have told myself that I should have been sitting across from her instead of him. I wanted her to look at me, smile at me, and laugh at my jokes. I realized how selfish I was being. But I didn’t care. I wanted the entirety of her attention.


End file.
